4 Fears You Need To Eliminate To Build Self Confidence
Post written by Theo Ellis.
Fear can be good when you’re walking past an alley at night or when you need to check the locks on your doors before you go to bed, but it’s not good when you have a goal and you’re fearful of obstacles. We often get trapped by our fears, but anyone who has had success has failed before. – Queen Latifah
Isn’t it funny how we fear the things we most want in our lives? We fear the things we know deep down will help us make massive progress.
We fear the things that will build our self confidence, and we fear the things that will make us happy.
Does this sound a lot like you? The problem with avoiding fears that will benefit you is the habits that come with it.
Once the habit is there, it’s that much more difficult to overcome, and the fear itself becomes stronger.
Whether you’re afraid of singing, public speaking, blogging, starting a business, going out on a date or asking for a raise, it’s all the same.
There are 4 fears you need to eliminate to become more confident.
1. The fear of being yourself.
Some people like you, some people don’t. In the end you just have to be yourself. – Andres Iniesta
There was a time when I was afraid of being myself, and as a result I had little confidence.
I feared the reactions I’d get for being myself, how people would respond and what people might say.
But ever since I’ve gotten over this my confidence has never stopped growing.
I believe confidence is something we’re always working on, but being yourself is a good start to building it.
If you’re struggling with this fear I’d recommend taking small baby steps in the beginning.
Write down why you fear being yourself, and then start ticking off the list 1 by 1.
The most important thing is to take action instead of thinking about it too much.
2. The fear of self promotion.
When I first started using social media, and the internet in general, I was afraid of putting myself out there.
I thought “I’d better not let people know what I’m doing” which did nothing but strengthen the fear of self promotion.
Why was I afraid? Again, I was afraid of reactions, responses, and what others might think of my work, my website, my blog, etc.
But once I made up my mind and took action that changed.
With every fear I’ve conquered I realize it’s never as bad as it seems to be in the end.
Maybe you’re afraid of promoting yourself for the same reasons, whether you’re a blogger, author, or whatever it is you do.
Figure out why it bothers you, then take immediate action to build on your confidence!
3. The fear of criticism.
I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses. -Johannes Kepler
The “thoughtless” approval of the masses is usually the type of criticism people fear. I know it was for me.
Unfortunately, there’s a high percentage of people on this planet who are critical of others and are quick to judge.
But then again it’s fortunate because this proves you’re doing something right, and you’re on the right track.
What is it specifically that scares you about being criticized? Do you believe it will cripple your confidence?
Do you view it in a negative light rather than a positive light? Or are you a little more sensitive than the average person?
Whichever way you look at it, you’ve got to get over your fear of criticism to become a confident person.
No matter who you are, where you’re from, and what you look like you’re bound to be criticized.
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard
Which one would you rather be? The one who does what they believe in, has a voice and has character, or the opposite?
Write out a list of what you fear most about criticism and then pay the price with action. Then you’ll be wondering why you never conquered these fears in the first place.
4. The fear of making mistakes.
Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out. – Benjamin Franklin
The last fear you need to break is the fear of making mistakes.
We all make mistakes, no matter how successful we are, who we are, what we do or how we do it.
Mistakes are a part of self improvement and making progress.
The more mistakes you make, the smarter you become through self awareness.
Realize to become more confident in what you do, you’re going to have to make mistakes.
And not just make mistakes, but be OK with making and embracing mistakes.
If you can do that, you’ll be able to run through each and every failure without loss of self confidence.
You’ll become more confident as you progress and adapt along the way.
Theo Ellis is a blogger, author, and freelancer who’s committed to entrepreneurship and building his brand. Theo provides straightforward advice, taken from his own experiences through his blog – justbereal.co.uk to help you with self confidence, personal development and being yourself.