Posts Tagged ‘Humility’

I received a phone call last night from a friend I hadn’t seen in many a year. And yet it was as if we’d spoken only yesterday. What I love about this friend is their honesty. That’s always been a fine quality in their life. They carry no airs or graces. They are fragile, humble, and always encouraging.

And that’s when I reflected on what traits are those that I have discovered in what I would call a true friend. Here are  five for you to ponder and measure yourself against as a true friend.

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Life’s experiences have taught me that when I am low I can be high, when I am sick I can be well, when I am depressed I can be exuberant, and that when I am poor I can be rich.

Success has never taught me anything of great significance. Oh maybe one thing – the need to remain humble.

But it has been in failure that this pupil has been ready to learn. It has been in the depths of despair, and in the blockade of bumbling that I have become wealthy with the riches obtained while dwelling in the state of a pauper.

For it is in the land called low, the shire called sick, the district called depressed, and the province called poor that I have come to realize that without a life yielded to the one who breathed life in the first place into this clump of mud – a man is nothing  – a wisp of wind that is here one minute and then, in a breath, is gone.

And it is at that point that in my weakness I have been made strong. In my sickness I have been made whole, and in my poverty I have become rich. From depression I have been transported into a state of oppression – oppressing the very demons of doubt and crushing underfoot the gremlins of guilt that have harassed me. From inactivity I have instantly sprung into a state of action – overcoming fear with every step forward.

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I have come across many throughout my lifetime whose sum of their worth is calculated by the number of hours they work. Others by the number of dollars in their bank account. And I can’t forget those who calculate their value by the assets they have acquired.Then there are those who count their worth by the number of friends or followers they have. Or they will even stoop so low as to go to the point of name-dropping.

Their conversation is dominated by ‘the art of impress’, and yet they fail to realize that all it achieves is alienation from those who would love to share their world. But unknowingly they fail to understand that true conversation, that builds true friendship, is not formed upon the foundations of what they have, what they’ve done, who they know, or even by where they’re going.

Personally, I am far more interested in finding out as to who they are. I’m not even overly concerned as to what they think. I want them to be, and I most certainly don’t want to be bored by their repetitive verbiage that seeks always to ‘impress’.

Impress me by who you are – someone who is interested in others, and from time to time pauses to turn the course of conversation, through the art of reflection, onto those whom they are conversing with.  I want to spend time in the company of someone who, at the end of the conversation, leaves everyone they have conversed with, sensing a feeling of importance and appreciation.

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‘[A wise person] acts without claiming the results as his; he achieves his merit and does not rest (arrogantly) in it:- he does not wish to display his superiority.’ - Lao Tzu

Humility is constantly under attack from the hordes called pride and ambition. At times it is under siege, completely surrounded, and then at other times an ambush is set in place to overthrow the fragility of humility.

And why is it so fragile? Because it refuses to promote itself. It discards self pompous elevation. It chooses to celebrate the efforts of the team rather than to receive the accolades of the individual.

It finds it uncomfortable to stand in line to receive the outpouring of awards or medals. It would rather work quietly in the background in a supportive role, and let others receive the glory. And it is because of that fragility that it needs to be handled with great care.

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Alex Haley, the best selling author of  the epic book ROOTS once said, ‘Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.’

I must admit that I personally have an affinity with the humble turtle, or rather the tortoise.

For at times I believe that what takes others five minutes to do, can at times take me anything up to five years to complete. One example being that after dating my wife for over five years, it took my mother saying, ‘Are you ever going to marry that girl’ to spark the thought and finally the corresponding action that led to marriage.

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