Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

‘Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know.’ Lao Tzu

The Greek philosopher Epictecus explained it this way, that ‘we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.’

And I tend to think that Lao Tzu was thinking very much along those lines when he wrote the words, ‘Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know.’

We have all been in a social setting where there is one particular person in the group who dominates the conversation. Now may I add, that the one with the loudest or most dominating voice is not necessarily the wisest.

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When I find myself involved in a one on one conversation with a friend or a colleague, I suddenly find myself throwing about my thoughts more easily. They seem to present themselves with a greater sense of order. And for some reason I see those thoughts just that much clearer when they have been translated into words.

It is at that point that I at times seem to be much wiser than I ever imagined. And from just one hour of interactive discussion I find that I have stumbled upon more than I would ever have unveiled if I had locked myself away for a day on my own in the company of one.

For with the assistance given through good counsel and stimulating conversation my affairs are suddenly surveyed with a greater clarity and a straightening resonance.

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‘The one who knows much says little; an understanding person remains calm. Even dunces who keep quiet are thought to be wise; as long as they keep their mouth shut, they’re smart.’ Proverbs 17:27,28 (The Message)

There are those who love the sound of their own voice, and then there are those who are wise.

I listened to an interview the other day where the interviewer, an unknown author, throughout their interview with a bestselling author, shared, and at times interrupted his interviewee with his own exploits as a non-author. Very sad.

Everyone we come in contact with is an expert in something, and our role should always be to learn. Now you can only learn if you listen. And if and when the opportunity arises in the conversation to share what’s on your heart, then of course speak. But if it doesn’t, then keep quiet.

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I have come across many throughout my lifetime whose sum of their worth is calculated by the number of hours they work. Others by the number of dollars in their bank account. And I can’t forget those who calculate their value by the assets they have acquired.Then there are those who count their worth by the number of friends or followers they have. Or they will even stoop so low as to go to the point of name-dropping.

Their conversation is dominated by ‘the art of impress’, and yet they fail to realize that all it achieves is alienation from those who would love to share their world. But unknowingly they fail to understand that true conversation, that builds true friendship, is not formed upon the foundations of what they have, what they’ve done, who they know, or even by where they’re going.

Personally, I am far more interested in finding out as to who they are. I’m not even overly concerned as to what they think. I want them to be, and I most certainly don’t want to be bored by their repetitive verbiage that seeks always to ‘impress’.

Impress me by who you are – someone who is interested in others, and from time to time pauses to turn the course of conversation, through the art of reflection, onto those whom they are conversing with.  I want to spend time in the company of someone who, at the end of the conversation, leaves everyone they have conversed with, sensing a feeling of importance and appreciation.

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Before heading to bed tonight I found myself singing The Beatles song ‘All You Need Is Love’, and soon recalled all the events that had just occurred in my household – just another bustling night in the Sinclair household.

Over dinner, which my wife and I shared with my son and his girlfriend, we found ourselves discussing passionately a whole range of new business ventures we wanted to explore in the new year. This was done over chicken pie, and a very nice chicken pie I might add, where we were dreaming dreams, planning plans, and mapping maps with our words for the future. What a meal. Food for the body, soul and the spirit. Rich food for thought.

Then after the meal my eldest married daughter dropped in to use her mother’s sewing machine. A fault in the machine needed correcting, so out was pulled my trusty tool kit, which ultimately kept things moving seamlessly in the sewing department.

In the midst of this it was decided that the cat needed to be wormed. So wrapped up in a towel to protect all involved, the tablet was administered. Three attempts later, and a few cuts and abrasions inflicted by unhappy claws and teeth, the mission was accomplished.

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